Unintentionally Amusing By-Line Photo

Yes, Mr. Moore, what you say is extremely interesting, but unfortunately I cannot continue reading the article that you have so carefully prepared for BBC News because I cannot stop staring at your face. I am absorbed by the fact that some photographer has told you to look friendly, like a bloke down the pub, and you have tried to smile, something you are clearly unable to do properly due to a birth defect. It has made you look like some poorly constructed ventriliquists dummy; or a much younger Ray Liotta at a management symposium. I can’t take my eyes off your trendy (if this was the mid-90’s) gelled back hair. Or the way you can’t put your glasses on straight and the photographer has told you to lean forward in a jaunty diagonal angle so that people wont notice your crippling inability to dress yourself.

But mostly it’s the fact you think you look completely normal, and that you’re convinced this article will lead to further career success; not some twat taking the piss out of you unfairly in a blog no-one reads.